With the arrival of a baby, the need for restructuring starts from the news of the pregnancy, as it is necessary to make room for the entry of a new member into the relationship – individual, marital, family.

The moment a man finds himself a father, he experiences a metamorphosis that no one has ever told him about, a unique process in his life journey, a prototype of identity transformation.

The arrival of the first child starts a new family configuration. It is a process of continuous transformations.

Care is often a naturalized discourse that places the man as the 'financial provider' of the family and invisible in relation to the exercise of care. Thus, the man has to cross giant borders to be a father.

The man/father will also undergo several transformations and reconstructions.

It is not the fact of having a child that makes the man assume, instantly, the role of father. This new father in bonding with his son will undergo psychological and behavioral changes, demanding time and constant adjustments to perform his fatherhood.

Discussing the concept of father and caregiver in the path of parenting is looking at a patriarchal history that devastates the psyche of society and its individuals in the formation of values, beliefs and practices of the FATHER in the relationships he establishes in the family. Often, in the paternal construction, this man will need to go through the dynamics of his development as a man in his life course.

Here reconstructions will be necessary so that this individual, depending on his history, can be the protagonist of his paternity and not just a “helper” or “provider”.

Parents are also born when they are ready to be born, sometimes with their baby; sometimes with coexistence and care for him. The paternal birth is also a daily construction.

The transition to fatherhood is not an isolated event, but a gradual process, which consists of the man's familiarization with the challenges of his new role.


Caroene Santos Murray
Clinical Psychologist - Child and adult 🌿
Perinatal and Parental Psychologist 🌿